Can you hear that sound? Silence. Yes, it is a very rare occasion when I have awoken earlier than the rest of the family. Early mornings are a great time to be reflective and most of all positive. Whilst drinking my cup of tea I say to myself “today is the day I will become Super Mum” …
1. Shower, blow dry hair and do make up.
2. Make a healthy breakfast for my child to ensure he is ready for the day!
3. Have patience, do not raise voice- even when asking my child to get dressed for the tenth time.
4. Be a domestic goddess- have a clean and sparkling home.
5. Dedicate time to play and educate my child.
6. Cook a delicious homemade dinner that my child will love!
7. Create a relaxing bath to help aid my child to sleep.
8. Read a story before bedtime.
9. Time to relax, watch TV (with swear words!), read a book and pamper self.
10. Have a great night sleep of at least 8 hours to be ready and refreshed for the next day.
… Are any of you laughing yet? I thought so! Ok, this is usually the outcome of my daily goals;
1. Shower Time; Be as quick as possible as a certain small person keeps coming in for attention, moving the shampoo bottle and showing me his new dance asking me to “wiggle wiggle”.
As for blow drying my hair… again, as quick as possible as toddler’s like to play hairdresser’s and will try to blow dry my hair for me, switching the hairdryer off numerous times!
Make up… I use whatever I can to hide the black bags as best as possible to go from the zombie look to the “you look tired look”.
2. Breakfast Time; Encourage my child to eat a healthy and nutritional breakfast. Half an hour later agree to him choosing his own less nutritional breakfast to avoid a rumbly tummy.
3. Patience; At 8am we are on meltdown number two already… the time out mat is being well used and the word “no” has been shouted at me way too many times. A calm and positive approach aiming to teach boundaries is now in the past… “For goodness sake!” I say in a raised tone of voice…to which my son repeats in a parrot like fashion!!!!
4. Domestic Goddess; I feel bad for using time that could be used to play and have fun, to tidy and clean the house from top to bottom. However, 10mins later a toddler tornado has demolished the house and it is Toys R Us once again.
5. Playtime; We play cars for 10mins until my son loses interest. We play with the toy kitchen until interest is lost and we play hide and seek, again, until interest is lost. “What shall we do next?” I Ask, he replies “Peppa Pig” …And TV time begins.
6. Dinner Time; I am feeling exhausted but manage to cook a lovely dinner but a certain toddler refuses it and asks for something different! Again, prepare another meal requested by son- “chippies” to avoid an empty tummy.
7. Bath Time; Bath time is anything but calming- if anything it hypes him up, splashing and more splashing… until the bathroom is flooded.
8. Bedtime; This is now a struggle as my previously sleepy child jumps about with a new-found energy…Again, wanting to show me his new dance and asking me to “wiggle wiggle”.
9. Time to Relax- Relax? This usually means falling asleep whilst pretending to sleep in the hope my son will sleep too!
10. Night Time; The pitter patter sound of tiny feet wakes me and I find a toddler climbing into my bed. Yes, it’s going to be a disturbed night’s sleep consisting of being kicked, hit and pushed out the way.
Like many mum’s, my daily goals do not always go as planned. But would I change any of this? Never! Does this mean I have failed at being a good mum? Never!
I know the feeling of mummy guilt far too well and often beat myself up for not being “perfect” or a “super mum”. But, did you know that being a super mum comes in many ways? We are all super mum’s and should not feel guilty for not being perfect.
As I have said in previous blogs, social media portrays this illusion of what being a “super mum” is and this is not reality. This can put pressure on mums to be “perfect” and there are websites and articles providing tips on how to be “perfect” and how to be a “super mum”.
These helpful tips include;
• You must help with school events
• You must always look glamourous
• You must have a week’s worth of meals planned
• You must have arts and crafts close to hand
• You must always cook from scratch
• You must lay the breakfast table the night before
• You can get your children to eat anything and everything
• You can get children to behave well in a restaurant
• You never run out of milk
• No screens allowed
• No processed food allowed
These “helpful tips” suddenly become very unhelpful and very unrealistic, resulting in many mums feeling like a failure. But hey, I have days where… the washing is in the machine for the second time because I completely forgot to hang it out…The washing up is left from the night before… Chocolate is a much-needed bribe and what can I say? Yes, we have the occasional day where we stay in our pyjamas.
This may not be “perfect” but I like to think of it as “imperfectly perfect” and that is fine with me.
I prefer my days to be filled with me and my son dancing, singing, tickling, playing hide and seek and laughing until our tummies hurt! And yes, this will usually involve several meltdowns and trips to time out. But I would not have it any other way… as I always say, Happiness is Homemade.
There are many things that make me feel like a “super mum” and here are just a few;
• My son saying “I love you mummy”.
• Getting hugs and kisses – just because he wants to!
• When he laughs uncontrollably.
• Being told “I had a great day”.
• When he amazes me by continuously learning and developing each day.
• When we spend time as a family making memories.
• When he sleeps peacefully.
Although I speak from a mum’s perspective and know that the pressures on motherhood are not easy, let’s not forget fatherhood too! There will be times you feel like you have failed.
But please remember;
In the eyes, heart and mind of your child- You are Super Mum & Super Dad!