Those who judge will never understand and those who understand will never judge.

Hello, its been a while since I posted.  So I thought, why not add one more for 2020- and what a year it has been!

I do hope you are safe and well, its been a rollercoaster of emotions hasn’t it which seems to be continuing! But please remember, it’s okay to not be okay all of the time and although it certainly doesn’t feel like it right now, storms don’t last forever.

I feel that there is something comforting in knowing that we are all in this together though and I have seen so many positive stories of how people are coming together to support one another.

There has also been plenty of time for reflection and something that I have been very mindful of this year in particular is that you never know what someone else is going through. Have you ever been asked, “how are you?” and replied, “I’m fine”. When really, your not “fine”. In that moment in time, you had something going on in your life which you were finding difficult but didn’t want to share how you were feeling and just smiled and got through the day?

I expect we can all say we have done this at some point. And it’s ok not to want to share our lives with everyone but it is good to have someone we can trust and talk to if we can.

Have you ever made an assumption about someone? Have you been frustrated with how someone spoke or how they reacted to something? Have you not agreed with their actions? I expect we can all say we have felt like this at times. We are human and it is natural. But, what is important is to be mindful and try not to judge others. Like they say…..

I once read that it’s understandable why we don’t see things from others’ perspectives. We spend our whole lives living in our own situations, seeing things through our own eyes, and perceiving everything based on our past experiences. Our own perspectives are the default.

But when you try to see through someone else’s perspective, you’re taking yourself out of the equation. You’re forced to think about the other person’s life, their circumstances, and the experiences that shaped who they are. You have to picture why they might think or feel a certain way, based on who they are and what they’ve done. When we make assumptions its easy to forget about the person and we forget that everyone has a story.

I find thinking about it from this perspective really helpful and I instantly feel different about a situation and more understanding of others, which changes my thoughts and response.

Being kind is not always easy. Being kind is a skill that sometimes demands great courage and strength. Being kind to ourselves can also be difficult. But it is acts of self kindness that gives us fuel to be kind to others.

So, just a thought what if…

Your friend has just said “I’m fine” but really they have been struggling with anxiety.

Your colleague who always seems so happy and confident has just gone through a break up.

The person who just served you at the shops and asked you how your day has been, has just lost their mother. 

The person who didn’t say thank you when you held a door open for them, had just found out that their IVF treatment was unsuccessful.

The person you just passed on the train station platform, has just lost his job and is worried about how he will pay his bills next month.

Those around us, people we know, people we meet, people we pass in the street will all have something going on in their lives that we do not know about.

We need to remember that from the outside looking in, someone else’s life can appear “perfect” but on the inside, you can never know what someone else is going through…no matter how happy they may appear.

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. A friendly smile, a listening ear, compassion and understanding can go such a long way to those who may need it most at that time.

Be kind. Always.

It may not be the new year we were hoping for but we are in this together and brighter days are coming.

Love, Think Less Live More

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